Saturday, June 03, 2006 > Officially sick..

It is that time of the year....

My throat's hurting, back's killing, head's spinning, stomach's churning (Darren got teman now! Hehe..) and temperature's rising. Of all times.. Less than a week before my first paper.

I guess now I have an excuse if I don't do well.

I choose to blame my untimely illness on the stupid, fluctuating Adelaide weather (it was a sunny 18 degrees but now it has gone down to a freezing 8 degrees) rather than blaming it on my weird sleeping schedule or excessive intake of junk. I reckon I really am a person who is living in denial.

Speaking of which: I recently had a conversation with a friend concerning "denial living"- if such a term is grammatically correct. I realised some time ago that I never really realised I lived in denial simply because, I was in denial. Hhhmm... If that makes any sense. When people pointed out something of me that was a LITTLE less-than-perfect (proving my point further), I would become extremely defensive. It has made it even harder to deal with petty issues in life just simply because I refused to address it in the first place. Thus, many a time, it has stunted my growth: character wise and spiritually as well. Yeah.. I know many of you are thinking, "Obviously not physically." Haha.. Not funny...

The root to all this denial: My PRIDE.

Addressing issues in my life especially if it comes from those I don't want to hear it from hurts. Hurts my pride. Lowers the self-esteem. God, teach me.. I need to learn. I really do..

I can start now then.....

"I am sick, not because of the weather but because I have not had sufficient sleep and have not been eating well."