Friday, June 30, 2006 > What Goes Around Comes Around

I am green with envy and sick with despair!!

The housemates are currently on a movie marathon .

Friends left, right and center are either going home to Malaysia or going for holidays in Melbourne or Sydney.

I am stuck here doing my assignment.

Now I know how they felt when I was busy doing nothing while they still had to study for the exams. At least they all had each other! Haih.... I am one of the very few remnants still stuck with some Uni work.

If I were a little smarter, I would have slaved away on my assignment right after my exams while everyone else was still studying.

God is too fair for my own good....

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Sunday, June 25, 2006 > An "Obsession"?

I am the happiest when I am clean, rid of all impurities. I can't help but sigh over and over again with contentment after a hot shower. This feeling fulfillment and ecstacy... *sighs happily*... I just can't explain it. One of the little niceties in life that make me happy.

A forewarning to those who don't know: I have this "obesession" (I don't believe that is an appropriate word in this context just simply because it gives a negative impression. But can't think of another word at the moment) about cleanliness. I have had many labels thrown at me as a result- anal, pedantic, obsessive, crazy- Well, you get the idea. I have also been told by a soon-to-be psychologist that I have an obsessive compulsive disorder. What's wrong with wanting to be HYGIENICALLY clean?

The ultimate sanctuary is my bed. Thus, has to be the cleanest place of all. NOTHING. NOTHING. (This includes human beings) that has been out of the house/not showered/ soiled is to make contact with my bed. It is beyond me seeing how some people can just get into bed after a long day out. *shudders* Unfortunately, good-for-nothing friends have plopped into my bed, fitted under my covers, sat and rubbed armpits on my pillow and jumped on my bed while unclean. Believe me, my patience was NOT put into practice.

I particularly remember this one time when I decided to challenge this "obesessive" nature of mine. I hopped into bed for an afternoon nap with a sweater that I wore out of the house before. I reeled in bed, trying not to think about it. Images such as black dirt making contact with my quilt and bedsheet filled my mind. In about one minute, I hopped back out of bed and off that sweater went. I chose to suffer the cold rather than soil my clean sheets.

Hhhhmmm.. Maybe I should be the first patient of my soon-to-be psychologist friend.

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Tuesday, June 20, 2006 > Pathetic, I am..

It's after exams and I still find myself doing the same thing every afternoon (minus the study materials, I am NOT that pathetic) :Sitting infront of my laptop, chatting on MSN and blog surfing.

At times like this, I thank God for my other misfortunate friends which are just as bored at work, all LLB-ing. A Malaysian term I learnt today that stood for 'Look Like Busy'. How much more Malaysian can that abbreviation get.

I am laughing so so hard now... These jokes are such treasures. May only be funny in that certain context, but puts a wide smile on my face and stirs up a joy that lasts a long time.

I suddenly feel a whole lot less pathetic after all that laughter. Yes.. I did have a great afternoon;) Can't wait for tomorrow!!!!

And... MSN Messenger is the greatest invention of mankind..

And and... Check out this new xanga site of "mine".

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Saturday, June 17, 2006 > Visitors from Home

And one from a neighbouring city as well..

We always have so much fun when people from home come. They bring a little piece from the place we miss so much with them (and many interesting stories!).

Anyone from Malaysia interested in coming??? We will welcome you with open arms!!! All we ask of you: 2/3 of your luggage space ;)

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Thursday, June 15, 2006 > Panic at the Wake

I Love YOU!!!!

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006 > Exam Review

6 short answer questions- answers should fill about 3/4 or one page. (5 marks each)

6 essay questions- answers should fill about 1.5 or 2 pages. (10 marks each)

1 application essay question- 25 marks! Tell me how long that would be!!

I was suppose to complete all of that in 2 and a half hours!! Moreover, it was the lecturer that said, "The more information, the better." I gave that to her, and as a result, an incomplete paper I handed in.

The worse part of it was that all the information was already at the end of my fingertips. I just didn't have time to get it down on paper. *bangs head on wall*

I am so disappointed.. Felt like all that studying went down the drain. :(

Ok.. I just needed to get that out of my system. Will continue studying for tomorrow's paper..

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Sunday, June 11, 2006 > 60 km/h

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Saturday, June 10, 2006 > The Fall

One moment, I was walking..

Next, I was on the ground on all fours..

Finally, My face was 2 inches from the ground..

I did a Sheena today.. As a result, I have plasters all over my hands, my knees are twice its usual size, my arms are full of scratches and cuts, my hips are sore and it pains me (literally!) to dress and walk. Doesn't help that I have a low-tolerance of pain..

You know how people say that it all happens in slow motion during an accident (or a fall in this case)? I now believe that. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought it took me 10 minutes to finally make contact with that gravel road.

After 3 minutes of agony in trying to feel my legs again, the embarassment of falling flat on my face in front of all my Lifegroup members started to creep in. Doesn't help that friends, after they heard about my fall said this to me:

Kelsey: Your knees are twice their size? Whoa.. They must be huge now!

Cheryl: I thought I felt some tremors

Sheesh.. All this pain just because I missed ONE step...

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Friday, June 09, 2006 > Intense Cravings

It is amazing how cravings never fail to strike when you are trying to focus on studying. It makes it worse when the food you crave for so badly is 5000 miles away.


At times like this, the good ice cream, chocolate and desserts here just doesn't cut it. Boy.. What I would do to be sitting at a table full of food as above. You guys in Malaysia, appreciate what you have. And all of that at arms length!!!!!

To make things worse, I just discovered that I would have to DRAW a brain on my next paper. I just know that it would turn out looking like a pile of mashed potatoes. It's unfair that my exam marks will be dependent on the talent I do not possess.

I really don't feel like I can continue studying anymore. I should sleep the craving and stress off....

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Wednesday, June 07, 2006 > Study Aids #2

Due to my deteriorating health and the comments people have made about our snacking habits, we have resorted to the above. It is definitely not as yummy, but it still does provide the comfort we need..

First paper in about 13 hours. Aaarrrggghh........

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Monday, June 05, 2006 > Dreams

All of us have dreams. I have especially many. Examples of 3 of mine:

1. I got married to a really good-looking guy (Hopefully a reality soon? Hehe..)
2. I was buried alive by a mad old man and tried escaping by sticking my arm out of the ground,
calling for my mum. (Woke up crying.. I was 8)
3. A friend of mine died one day and I found her in my house, only to see her wink at me! In the
end, it was only a plot to catch some criminal as she was a detective.

Haha... Those are all dreams I have had during peaceful slumber.

But dreams also have come to me when I am awake and conscious. Recently, I have had to make decisions on whether I wanted to continue an additional year in Uni as my course has been extended a year. Since I heard, it has really got me thinking about what I wanted. Though an additional year of Uni may not seem that big a deal, it did affect many other issues that I would have to think about. And as many know, I am not one who jumps with excitement when i have to choose between di and da: I end up not eating when I go to a foodcourt just because I can't make up my mind! Pathetic, I know.. With this thrown at me, I have spent long and hard hours thinking about it.

As a result, there was a little something that was dropped in my heart a few days back. It was something I used to dream of when I was a young girl, but I lost it many years back. For every practical reason. I have been thinking a lot about it but I do not believe that it is feasible for nuts. My pragmatic self does not allow myself to believe it. Thus, the heavenly realm I sought.

Today at church, Pastor Ashley shared with us this story (My rendition of it. Sorry.. But I am not much of a storyteller. There may be slight errors, but the gist of it is there):

A young, low-ranking general once asked Napoleon, "I want this island. Give it to me." It was not a question or a plea. It was a command. Mind you, he asked this in a roomful of generals of much higher ranking than he was. Everyone was stunned. They started jeering and mocking him. In the midst of all that, Napoleon asked one of the generals for a piece of paper and a pen. Right there and then, he signed it, stating that the island belonged to the young general. Once again, everyone was stunned but for a completely different reason. Finally, one of the generals asked Napoleon, "What compelled you to give him the island?" Napoleon answered, "He honoured me by the magnitude of his request."

That hit me... I honour God by the magnitude of my request.

Though I am still not a hundred percent sure whether it is what God wants for me, I know once again that I can dream big. I can ask God for something even I don't believe that it is possible yet. As corny as it sounds, the bigger the better! How else would we rely on God entirely???

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Saturday, June 03, 2006 > Officially sick..

It is that time of the year....

My throat's hurting, back's killing, head's spinning, stomach's churning (Darren got teman now! Hehe..) and temperature's rising. Of all times.. Less than a week before my first paper.

I guess now I have an excuse if I don't do well.

I choose to blame my untimely illness on the stupid, fluctuating Adelaide weather (it was a sunny 18 degrees but now it has gone down to a freezing 8 degrees) rather than blaming it on my weird sleeping schedule or excessive intake of junk. I reckon I really am a person who is living in denial.

Speaking of which: I recently had a conversation with a friend concerning "denial living"- if such a term is grammatically correct. I realised some time ago that I never really realised I lived in denial simply because, I was in denial. Hhhmm... If that makes any sense. When people pointed out something of me that was a LITTLE less-than-perfect (proving my point further), I would become extremely defensive. It has made it even harder to deal with petty issues in life just simply because I refused to address it in the first place. Thus, many a time, it has stunted my growth: character wise and spiritually as well. Yeah.. I know many of you are thinking, "Obviously not physically." Haha.. Not funny...

The root to all this denial: My PRIDE.

Addressing issues in my life especially if it comes from those I don't want to hear it from hurts. Hurts my pride. Lowers the self-esteem. God, teach me.. I need to learn. I really do..

I can start now then.....

"I am sick, not because of the weather but because I have not had sufficient sleep and have not been eating well."

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Thursday, June 01, 2006 > Study Aids

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